Hatred Isn’t Exciting. It's also too easy.

COMA, Columbus, Ohio.  Really just one of my favorite places in the whole city. 

COMA, Columbus, Ohio.  Really just one of my favorite places in the whole city. 

I am incredibly exhausted by listening to the people around me talk about the things in life that they hate. This, of course, is a fairly common topic of conversation for anyone going through life. On a college campus, especially during this time of year, everyone is talking about how much they hate finals. Most people in Ohio are talking about how much they hate the weather (how dare it snow in April like it always does?). Sometimes in life a partner says something to you that’s upsetting and you must— really you just simply must— go and drink with your friend Sara (or something) who proceeds to tell you that all men are trash. This is common— the daily amount of bitching that everyone needs to survive. To be honest, I am a proud bitcher. Life sucks. I’m not saying that things don’t suck. That’s not the point of this piece. I am exhubrently aware of the awfulness of everything. Idenifiying it isn't hard.

The point is to simply say that hatred is also incredibly boring, because (as I said above) everyone bitches all the time. You’re not special for hating someone— you’re not special for being irritated and your unfathomably bad mood about the whole situation isn’t cute. Telling people about how much you just absolutely hate everything isn’t fun or entertaining to listen to. It does not make you more likable in the slightest. It doesn’t make you different either. Everybody hates everything all the time. You’re not an edgy special snowflake for hating the world and everyone in it.

Now, before we go any further, I will admit that there are plenty of things that I vehemently hate for no good reason. There are things that I love to hate. People who know me well might be thinking to themselves that this piece is, in fact, incredibly ironic considering how much time I spend talking about all of the very particular things that I dislike. My answer to those people is simple: we’re not perfect. I am not perfect. I fucking hate you for bringing it up.

The point is that hating things is easy. Disliking the world is so easy— there are so many perfectly awful things going on all the time to hate. What is not easy is loving something; it takes a keen eye. Really truly having a passion for anything in life and keeping to it. Finding little things that you love and holding onto them. This is not a small task. Loving yourself is just an example of that. Holding onto things that we love takes lots of energy. Letting pieces of ourselves go is easier; it hurts less. Things that we love have a tendency to hurt us. It is far easier to admit that someone has hurt us by being an asshole than saying that we loved them & it hurt to love them. It is far easier to hate someone for something than it is to love them despite it. Now, of course, there are lines never to be crossed in that. I’ve had to let more than a few people I loved go because of crossing lines that I cannot ignore (because I love myself enough to value my lines), but this is not the point. The idea is that we remember those in our lives by what they loved and who they loved. We build our relationships off of values and things that we love about each other. We find our life partners based off of mutual passions, goals, and dreams. We spend so much time in life trying to hate everything all the time, saying fuck you to everything around us, that we forget that our passions are what bring light into our lives. We forget that these are the things that center us. 

At the end of our lives, we do not look back and think about all of the things that we hated. We think about the things and people that we loved along the way. 

And so: in honor of this, here is an uncensored list of things that I absolutely love. 

  • Stupid, colorful pens that write smooth and don’t bleed on the page.
  • Espresso. The true love of my life. 
  • Riding my bike 
  • “We are all broken; that’s how the light gets in.” — Ernest Hemingway
  • Mexican food 
  • Anne of Green Gables, Frankenstein, & Annabelle Lee 
  • The news. 
  • The feeling of accomplishment you get when you’ve finished a book 
  • Rain. The smell of rain. Watching the rain. Rain. 
  • Thunderstorms are the best
  • Sunday mornings 
  • morning sex.
  • baked goods 
  • Blue dresses. Puffed sleeves. 
  • Grocery shopping. 
  • Iced coffee 
  • Lake Erie. Lighthouses. The sunset. 
  • October— the absolute best month of them all.
  • playing cards with my family members 
  • being alone with another person in comfortable silence 
  • Art museums. Edgar Degas. (I’m a slut for French impressionism)
  • Podcasts. 
  • My stupid loud laugh/Having poofy hair 
  • I love business attire clothing. I love button-down shirts. I love looking more serious than I actually am (because I am not serious at all). 
  • Protests. Protest photography is my favorite! Black and white portraits. 
  • The color purple